Tragic Television

  • Friend: We talk a lot about Little House on the Prairie. Is that odd?
  • Me: Nah, that's valid.
  • Friend: The most depressing show in the history of television.
  • Me: No, that would be Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
  • Friend: But how many anthrax epidemics did they have on Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
  • Me: None. But Buffy was killed several times. All heartbreaking.
  • Friend: They were always killing off little kids on Little House, though. The ones that didn't end up dead ended up blind or hooked on morphine. Except for Half Pint.
  • Me: The morphine episode was famous on the playground when I was in fourth grade. Every kid was obsessed with it. I ought to blog about it. It's really quite funny. We mixed dirt with snow using sticks, called it morphine, and sold it on the black market during recess. I got some and it cost me a bathroom break.
  • Friend: My friend visited the Laura Ingalls Wilder home a few months ago and texted me from there that Albert didn't really exist.
  • Me: Oh, he was in South Dakota?
  • Friend: I texted him back that he was obviously still over at Mr. Edwards's cabin throwing up.
  • Me: We've gone to De Smet, SD many times.
  • Friend: He was at the one in Missouri, whatever is there....It might actually be in Missour-uh.
  • Me: Your friend ought to go to De Smet. Besides being a funny name, it's more the real deal.
  • Friend: Where does one place the accent in "De Smet"?
  • Me: Smet.
  • Friend: Good to know. I would have gone with DES-mit.
  • Me: Wrongo.